I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
