it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
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