As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
