Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
