do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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