I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
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