I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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