Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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