yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
