Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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