Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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