happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Little spoons don't ask big questions
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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