If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
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After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
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The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
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