His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Randomize
