So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
