i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Randomize
