why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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