In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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