The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
