my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
