i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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