I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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