...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
We are two peas in an std pod
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
