Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
