sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
