i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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