You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize