I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
