i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
