I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize
