well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
