Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
