D3 body, D1 cock
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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