I want to have your abortion
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
