She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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