You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
