Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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