# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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