You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
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