He kissed a someone with a penis
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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