you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize