to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
