I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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