I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
