Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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