we have pet lesbian snakes
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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