Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
