haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
whose parrot is this?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
