when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
