**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
