i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
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