There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
