Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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