Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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