Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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