You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Sober January is a disaster.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
