last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
