i need an iv and a liver transplant
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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