White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
