so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
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I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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