This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Your dad touched me again.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
