After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
