I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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